Just what I needed...

It's been a hard couple of weeks with the boys.

Henry is entering the terrible three's (whoever said terrible two's never had a three yr old).
Oli is going through a phase where he is totally impulsive. ( This is a kid who never takes a risk and usually thinks about the consequences.) Including swinging a bat at his brother's head less than ten seconds after the first bat was taken away for bashing something in the garage.

Needless to say, my nerves are fried. I have yelled more than I ever wanted to. And I have gone to bed every night vowing to God that I will do a better job keeping my cool and controlling myself so that I can control the situation better.

You know, when I have days and days like this I start to doubt myself as a mom. I doubt that I am actually doing any good let alone being consistent and winning the battles. I start thinking my kids are going to need therapy by the time they are five because their mom has screwed them up so bad. The guilt rages. It fills my dreams. It starts to consume my thoughts and I start wondering how I am every going to make it through the teenage years.

And then my sweet loving Father in heaven sends me some love...

This morning, in Wal-mart, while waiting in line to pick up a perscription, the boys are doing everything they can to try to kill one another in the cart, and I am very aware of the older couple sitting on the bench watching us. I start with the sweet talk: "boys, sit down please, i don't want you falling out of the cart and bonking your sweet heads..." They don't even hear me and continue to stand and try to make the cart swerve around. I get a little firmer: "BOYS, sit down please." They continue to misbehave and now Henry is screaming at the top of his lungs, not in pain mind you, just to make noise. I had finally had it and I didn't care what people thought of me at this point: " BOYS, this is not ok behavior. I have asked you to sit down and I expect you to obey my words. There will be consequences when we get out to the car."

At this point it was finally my turn and after I paid and started walking away the older gentleman motioned to me and said, "young lady come here." He proceeded to tell my that I was a great mom and that I shouldn't be afraid to expect obedience from my kids the first time. They had three kids in three years and two months. They have been married 51 years (and they were still holding hands) and they told me they remember how hard it is but how worth it it is. The older lady said she remembered going to bed in tears because she had really bad days with her kids. But, all her kids are wonderful adults who are successful in their jobs, marriages, and now parenting. She told me to have high expectations of my children so they have high expectations of themselves.

Thanks Lord.